Changes, changes

It's been a while, almost 2 years to be precise. I got pregnant, gave birth and now have a 1 year old son, named Manu the love of my life (along with my husband and two other children). I am happy with life and except for the momentary chaos of moving homes, the only major hiccup in the past couple of years has been the absence of asana practice. 

I am grateful for having a family, a roof above our heads and home-cooked and healthy meals every day. What has been eating me up though was not being able to come to the mat, fatigue getting the best of me and with no energy from being up most of the night with my baby and reserving the energy that I had left for homeschooling my older kids during the day.

Since Manu turned 1, I have been trying to have more Me time by re-connecting with my Teachers recently. I have often read about the experience of many who suddenly breakdown during practice, mine finally and thankfully came while lying in Savasana after a full primary series practice and with my head bashfully hidden under my towel. E and B, it has been so rewarding to see you again. In photo below from L to R: Sig, Moy Becky, Me, E and Ly at this year's Global Mala Project celebration.

I am inspired. Om, Om, Om.    http://www.stillpointmanila.com/index1.html

Lead with the heart, follow with the head

Lead with your heart, follow with your head. My new mantra and the intention set in my mind as I practice yoga. Being surrounded by such beautiful beings—both teachers and classmates alike--with sage-like wisdom is like an elixir.

I’m trying to soften the edges around my “self” which has been hardened by a combination of intellect and painful experiences. I was young, ambitious, assertive, staunchly independent, hard-working, critical (though not judgmental), proactive, always reading between the lines and looking for loopholes…these were the traits that defined me and gave me an “invincible spirit” and as a result made me less connected with God.

I want to repair that relationship with the Supreme, higher being. After all, how can one watch the sun rise and set without acknowledging that it surpasses all things man-made? Surely the sun is something to be grateful to God for.

I’m starting by embracing and learning to love what I used to avoid: making small talk with my mom even if we are complete opposites; trying to be more compassionate towards less educated drivers and pedestrians; and—surprise, surprise!—dropping back to my heart’s delight during practice (with help of course from my teachers Edith and Becky whom I simply L-O-V-E).

Just a note on backbends. From Gregor Maehle’s book:

“In our experience, individuals with an open backbend find it easy to accept others without judgment, and there is at least anecdotal evidence that progress in backbending is related to acquiring a more open and sympathetic character. Since it improves our feminine qualities, backbending seems to help us to see value in the opinions of others even if these are contrary to our own. As backbending softens what can be called the “armor” or “cage of the heart—that is, the rib cage—it makes us compassionate and helps us to open our hearts to those disadvantaged or in need.

However not everyone who has an open backbend is a genuine, loving human being, and not every stiff back bender is a selfish, hung-up miser. One’s backbending seems to improve if one imagines the qualities and attributes associated with backbends while performing them.”

Lead with the heart, follow with the head. Om.

image from http://www.tevenei.com/

Beauty-full light welcOMes all

There will be no correct clothes
There will be no proper payment
There will be no right answers
No glorified teachers
No ego no script no pedestals
No You're not good enough or rich enough


Yoga is for everyone
This sweating and breathing and becoming
This knowing glowing feeling
Is for the big small weak and strong
Able and crazy
Brothers sisters granmothers
The mighty and meek
Bones that creak
Those who seek


This power is for everyone
Yoga to the People
All bodies rise

-The Yoga Manifesto-
ubuntu (i am, because we are)

The African word, ubuntu, means 'Humanity to others’, or ‘I am what I am because of who we all are’. This mantra is on the Facebook wall of Becky, who very recently opened Stillpoint Manila, a hOMe for all because yoga is for everyone. Congratulations Becky! Om.

Becky and E. Plus Karen = Three beauty-full lights! Photo taken by Jing Tobias.

Yo-GAGA

We were doing Surys A and B while listening to Lady Gaga. E imported her teenage grand daughter's playlist and blasted it away at hOMe. You gotta love practise at hOMe! Expect the unexpected, really. She wanted us to know that we shouldn't take ourselves too seriously and let our inner free spirit loose at times. So she gave us each wildly-coloured bandanas to wear and encouraged us to shake our booties when we felt like it, even if you are in Uthita Hasta Padangusthasana--which was when I got the sillies out as I heard, "Like A Virgin", the Glee version. If you want to be over-analytical about the whole exercise, it can also be viewed as a challenge to stay focused on your breathing and remain in equanimity even with crazy music playing.

It was great FUN, I have to admit. And I enjoyed semi-sychronised yoga with Saar who was beside me and who I lost somewhere in the seated poses. Hope we do this again, Art wants to play music from Feist next time, while Chinky brilliantly suggested some Black-Eyed Peas. Yeaaahhh!

A hOMe practise

Notice how slowly and quietly they walk? That’s because these monks worship the ground beneath their feet. They tread carefully with respect and reverence for the earth, ever mindful not to disturb, disrupt or dishevel even the finest grain of sand.

And that is what engaging your bandhas 24/7 should be like. Embrace this and maybe bandha control will come more naturally. Also call to mind YS 1.33 whereby every living creature is treated with love and respect or with restraint and equanimity.

Thanks Guru E for clearing that up. Teacher had us walking the length of our mats with both uddhiyana and mula bandhas activated, toes curling up, and just the 4 corners of the soles of our feet touching the floor. There is a big difference, I tell you. Our gait was lighter, for one. Try it and feel the difference.

Practise is changing somewhat in that I’ve begun to let go of my asana hang-ups already and really look forward to these pre and post practice discussions with E and my classmates. This is the hOMe practice I’ve come to love. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to rush back home but the children await.

Our mantra that night during Mysore practice was simple: “Inhale, exhale”. Guru E said that this was the solution to the “issues” we were struggling with. Mine is to remember when to do full-standing vinyasas. I forget when to go back to Samasthiti after E drops me back. For Lai, it’s remembering the asanas at the latter part of the primary series and when to do chakrasana. For some, it’s how to tame mind fluctuations. According to E, following that mantra would help keep us focused on  properly getting out of the asanas (which we often neglect).

Photo is taken by Hugh Sitton available at Getty Images.

hOMey

I want this. Supposedly made from old yoga mats, the Sanuk Yoga Mat sandal is as comfortable and grippy as a...yoga mat. Truth in advertising or plain marketing? I have a pair of Sanuk slippers that Angelina Jolie supposedly wears too. Below is Halle Berry in the Sanuk yoga mat sandals.

Snuck in some “me” time one Thursday evening as my son had no classes the following day. Got to hand it to Guru E for always making practice so enjoyable, so memorable at hOMe. As we settled on to our mats to come to Samasthiti she announced that night that we would be practicing to music softly playing in the background. Also this time she would be enforcing the “no talking during practice” rule (on cue, our gaze point shifts to Art).

Guru E knows astutely and is so attuned to the practice of each and every individual at hOMe. For me, the music was so calming and helped de-stress me as well. E’s playlist also set the pace for synchronised yoga with me, Art and Lai. And with Art muzzled from making any snide, I mean, side comments, we seemed to be fully concentrated on the asanas. “Practice with integrity,” E encouraged.

On Tuesday, during the onset of a recent typhoon (yes, we practiced even with alert levels raised), we practiced with our eyes closed which yielded the best yoga practice for me to date. Of course, I moved very tentatively at first but fear quickly dissipated as movement and breathing became one just like the time we did the “one breath per vinyasa” practice.

Since I only get to practice an average once every week I try to maximise, optimise my time at hOMe. So I felt very connected to the breath and in the end so convinced about keeping my eyes shut throughout except perhaps when jumping through for Bhujapidasana or going to Bakasana. With eyes closed, it was also wonderful to simply feel those micro-adjustments from E.

What else is new? I met newcomers, Arthur another Ashtanguy who I used to see at Yoga Manila, and Sabrina, a model, so tall she seemed much longer than her yoga mat. I am now also more at peace. As it turns out, spending more time with my son everyday and working together on his homework has produced very positive results in such a short time. I once thought that he would not take to reading books the way I did when I was a little girl. Or the way his 4-year old sister has already begun to read (note: she is learning ballet terminology which is French). But the other night he read the book, “You Can’t Catch Me” all by himself. *Sigh* Bliss!

Om.

Rain dance

Had a rejuvenating practice at hOMe. It wasn't clammy hot for a change and by the time we reached closing a cold wind had blown in and the smell of rain cooled our bodies in Savasana much faster than would normally take.

Unlike practice at other shalas where the atmosphere can get way too serious and the energy heavy, here at hOMe there's still so much to learn in spite of many, many, many, many  light moments. hOMe is truly the only place where practitioners can have a silly discussion while binding in Marichyasana A, B, C or D (take your pick). Conversation is free-flowing but respectful. And there is much acceptance and patience for character differences. So you could say we're mature at being immature. Sometimes it's also like having a satsang while practising yoga--with E always making sure to bring us back to zero after.

Last night I soaked up plenty of theory from E, even if Pattabhi has said that yoga should be 1% theory. She stopped practice after 3 Sury As and before Sury B to emphasise the importance of a strong back leg in Virabhadrasana, Trikonasana and Parsvokanasana. The back leg must be strong, straight and pressing down on the heel. The foot pigeon-toed to achieve an inward rotation on the thigh which also aids in squaring the hips in Warrior II. Get this right and you should be stable, steadfast and ideally in equilibrium with the front leg and with the arms being pulled in opposing but equal force. Take this to heart during practice and perhaps, just maybe you will experience Sthira Sukha Asanam.

Another memorable point for me--one that is anti-theory--is how E has been training my body to remember how to move when dropping back. "Like we're dancing," as she always put it. After three backbends I do the preparation for dropping back that Becky taught me way back in 2008 when she subbed for a Yoga Manila Led class. We've been working on this for some time already that E pointed out that my legs have been internally rotating, my quads are kept engaged and I am standing up from the backbend with her help and in wave-like fashion without her telling me how to do it. "Feel, don't think." That's all E will ever say when dropping me back, "Because the body is smart and learns quickly."

Thirdly, E taught me how to engage mula bandha in poses like Sirsasana and how it helps to try keep it locked 24/7 not just during yoga but off the mat as well. To illustrate, she had Art tread quietly around the shala during practice some time ago, with mula bandha activated and mindful of the other practitioners.

For a theoretical framework on the mula bandha read this article by Dr. Ruth Jones of Stanford University who calls mula bandha the pelvic floor muscle. According to Dr. Jones mula bandha is activated this way:

•Imagine your PFM as a sling that attaches from your tail bone at the back (sacrum and coccyx) to your pubic bone at the front.

•Now take a breath in, and as you breathe out, gently squeeze the muscles around your back passage, as if you were trying to prevent wind (gas/flatulence) escaping.

•Bring this feeling forward (remembering the muscular sling) towards your pubic bone as if you were trying to stop yourself from urinating (having a pee).

•Keep holding this contraction as you imagine that you are on the ground floor of an elevator, you want to lift your PFM as if you were going to the 1st, then 2nd 3rd etc floor.

•Keep breathing as normally as you can, whilst holding onto your PFM. Aim to hold for 10 seconds, before releasing your PFM.

•Repeat up to 10 times, breathing normally.

•Remember to release all the way back to the ground floor, as holding on too much may be as much of a problem as not being able to hold onto them at all.

Also, you may have noticed that your abdominal muscles were also engaged as you pulled in your PFM. This is perfectly normal as long as you do not tilt your pelvis or hold your breath as you do so. In yoga the abdominal muscles activating is part of the Uddiyana Bandha (the abdominal lock), and the Mula Bandha is almost always activated at the same time as that lock.

This can be a little too much to digest. I guess that's why Pattabhi and E insist on doing and feeling rather than thinking. Om.

Ashtanguys

ASHTANGUY n.

Ashtanguys plural

Pronunciation: \ash-tang-guy\

Function: noun

Date and first usage: 06 May 2010 this blog

Definition:
1. One of Edith Tobias’ male yoga students of Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga.
2. A practitioner of Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga who is male.

Photo courtesy of Stuart B. Watkins

In E’s shala there is Art, my breathing buddy, who has made an honest living earning tons of money “writing fiction” (his words, not mine) as a consultant for many foreign and domestic organizations.

Then Saar, from Israel who is CEO of a global ecological content and research company headquartered in Hong Kong. He also practices some second series poses and Tai Chi.

Benjie, whose many years as a seaman have given him bodily aches and pains which have been recently relieved by practicing Ashtanga. He is married to Lai.

Together with Jing, E’s husband, and Jem my husband these fabulous five form our core group of Ashtanguys at the shala who share their strength and energies during practice.

In this country the women practitioners of Ashtanga normally outnumber the males. Why is that? Baffling really, when historically yoga was created in India originally and exclusively for men. After trying it out all the way through the seated poses, Jem can’t figure out why Ashtanga hasn’t caught on among Filipino men yet. It IS such a strenuous work out for him.

But in E’s shala there is almost an equal ratio of--or should I say a good balance between girls and guys. One night there were 4 guys out of the 9 practitioners in total. Of course Jing skips practice and goes downstairs for some sub-zero beer at the resto on the ground floor when space gets too tight.

Because I can’t make it to the shala this week, I’ve convinced my husband to do yoga at home as cross-training for his running. The result: so far he hasn’t put on his running shoes because we have been practicing every morning since Monday.

On the advice of one of my teachers, Jon Cagas, doing Suryas A & B and closing everyday can constitute a “daily practice”. As long as it’s done with integrity I suppose. Never one to be shortchanged, hubby and I did not only that but also some seated poses (no backbends though, I can only do UDs with E.) Woo-hoo!

A round of sub-zero for our Ashtanguys and an article on Filipino businessmen who practice Ashtanga Vinyasa yoga and another  article on yoga for men by Rodney Yee. Om.