At the Stillpoint

In Salcedo, Makati that is. Such a cozy hOMe Becky and Karen have made of it. With the help of Stillpoint regulars who stash their mats, towels, bath products and other belongings there and make the shala look like a cross between a college dormitory and  serious ashram. After practice, one is greeted with the sound of fresh fruit juice concoctions and the smell of oven-baked goodness which are offered and passed around freely and generously. Such is the spirit of sharing at Stillpoint Manila. How I've missed it! Om.

Upside, downside

Reality sets in. I was growing very apprehensive about my lack of preparation for John's Mysore workshop. I was coming in cold, I told Karen when I met her at the shala before my appointed 8:15 a.m. practice. For a month a nasty bug had besieged our home sickening my son, daughter, baby and myself in its wake. That meant resting, recuperating, recovering and not practising for 30 days.  In addition I had to get up at 5 a.m. for one week to beat the rush hour traffic to Makati. I had to sneak out before my kids awoke, skip breakfast and drive while sleepy and with the day semi-dark and still dewy. On the upside, this guaranteed me a parking space safely behind the shala and best of all, gave me a close view of how John and Becky taught and adjusted the 6:15 a.m. group of practitioners.    

Being early also gave me the opportunity to re-acquaint myself with the counted vinyasa that Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga advocates and which I had been working on every Sunday with B during her Led class.  For a while and before THAT virus struck,  I had come to prefer Led classes over Mysore practice because of the meditative effect counted vinyasa began to have over me. From time to time, I would catch myself closing my eyes and fully concentrating on synchronizing breath and bandhas. And only when the asana got too challenging did I lose that synchronicity.

Upside, downside. For some would be a question of perspective. I think it's just a matter of balance. Om.

Meant to Be

Some things are meant to be. The week before the JS workshop, B messaged me that someone had backed out of the week of Mysore morning practice with John. "Are you still free for that?" she asked. Not normally one to call back, I didn't just text her but quickly called her mobile to thank her (profusely) and accept. Thank you God for kind and beautiful beings like Becky.  Life is sweet. Om.

Missed opportunity

This may be the second time in a row that I will miss another workshop with JS. I am really desolate, despondent and at times depressed about it but life is like that. I can think of another D word to describe exactly how i feel but i will keep my bandhas engaged and my mouth shut. I guess I deserve this, I had seen the announcement on John's website a few months back and procrasinated, i should've contacted B to save space for me. Oh well...I am grateful to have been to 2 of his previous workshops here in '09 and in 2010.  Let other people have the opportunity to love and learn from this beautiful being this time. Inhale, exhale, wail...

Changes, changes

It's been a while, almost 2 years to be precise. I got pregnant, gave birth and now have a 1 year old son, named Manu the love of my life (along with my husband and two other children). I am happy with life and except for the momentary chaos of moving homes, the only major hiccup in the past couple of years has been the absence of asana practice. 

I am grateful for having a family, a roof above our heads and home-cooked and healthy meals every day. What has been eating me up though was not being able to come to the mat, fatigue getting the best of me and with no energy from being up most of the night with my baby and reserving the energy that I had left for homeschooling my older kids during the day.

Since Manu turned 1, I have been trying to have more Me time by re-connecting with my Teachers recently. I have often read about the experience of many who suddenly breakdown during practice, mine finally and thankfully came while lying in Savasana after a full primary series practice and with my head bashfully hidden under my towel. E and B, it has been so rewarding to see you again. In photo below from L to R: Sig, Moy Becky, Me, E and Ly at this year's Global Mala Project celebration.

I am inspired. Om, Om, Om.    http://www.stillpointmanila.com/index1.html

The stillness ringing in my ears

Inhaling
Exhaling
Rising
Falling
Lavender specks
Appearing
Fading
Gentle
So peaceful
The roar of an engine
Itchy

The stillness was ringing in my ears, a moment later a car passes and my shoulder begins to itch. These were my observations during my first seated meditation alone, which lasted exactly 10 minutes. Homework that E gave us at our last practice. Very effective. Now I have a reference whenever my mind and drishti drifts during practice. Thanks E. Om.

Lead with the heart, follow with the head

Lead with your heart, follow with your head. My new mantra and the intention set in my mind as I practice yoga. Being surrounded by such beautiful beings—both teachers and classmates alike--with sage-like wisdom is like an elixir.

I’m trying to soften the edges around my “self” which has been hardened by a combination of intellect and painful experiences. I was young, ambitious, assertive, staunchly independent, hard-working, critical (though not judgmental), proactive, always reading between the lines and looking for loopholes…these were the traits that defined me and gave me an “invincible spirit” and as a result made me less connected with God.

I want to repair that relationship with the Supreme, higher being. After all, how can one watch the sun rise and set without acknowledging that it surpasses all things man-made? Surely the sun is something to be grateful to God for.

I’m starting by embracing and learning to love what I used to avoid: making small talk with my mom even if we are complete opposites; trying to be more compassionate towards less educated drivers and pedestrians; and—surprise, surprise!—dropping back to my heart’s delight during practice (with help of course from my teachers Edith and Becky whom I simply L-O-V-E).

Just a note on backbends. From Gregor Maehle’s book:

“In our experience, individuals with an open backbend find it easy to accept others without judgment, and there is at least anecdotal evidence that progress in backbending is related to acquiring a more open and sympathetic character. Since it improves our feminine qualities, backbending seems to help us to see value in the opinions of others even if these are contrary to our own. As backbending softens what can be called the “armor” or “cage of the heart—that is, the rib cage—it makes us compassionate and helps us to open our hearts to those disadvantaged or in need.

However not everyone who has an open backbend is a genuine, loving human being, and not every stiff back bender is a selfish, hung-up miser. One’s backbending seems to improve if one imagines the qualities and attributes associated with backbends while performing them.”

Lead with the heart, follow with the head. Om.

image from http://www.tevenei.com/