Missed opportunity

This may be the second time in a row that I will miss another workshop with JS. I am really desolate, despondent and at times depressed about it but life is like that. I can think of another D word to describe exactly how i feel but i will keep my bandhas engaged and my mouth shut. I guess I deserve this, I had seen the announcement on John's website a few months back and procrasinated, i should've contacted B to save space for me. Oh well...I am grateful to have been to 2 of his previous workshops here in '09 and in 2010.  Let other people have the opportunity to love and learn from this beautiful being this time. Inhale, exhale, wail...