Lead with the heart, follow with the head

Lead with your heart, follow with your head. My new mantra and the intention set in my mind as I practice yoga. Being surrounded by such beautiful beings—both teachers and classmates alike--with sage-like wisdom is like an elixir.

I’m trying to soften the edges around my “self” which has been hardened by a combination of intellect and painful experiences. I was young, ambitious, assertive, staunchly independent, hard-working, critical (though not judgmental), proactive, always reading between the lines and looking for loopholes…these were the traits that defined me and gave me an “invincible spirit” and as a result made me less connected with God.

I want to repair that relationship with the Supreme, higher being. After all, how can one watch the sun rise and set without acknowledging that it surpasses all things man-made? Surely the sun is something to be grateful to God for.

I’m starting by embracing and learning to love what I used to avoid: making small talk with my mom even if we are complete opposites; trying to be more compassionate towards less educated drivers and pedestrians; and—surprise, surprise!—dropping back to my heart’s delight during practice (with help of course from my teachers Edith and Becky whom I simply L-O-V-E).

Just a note on backbends. From Gregor Maehle’s book:

“In our experience, individuals with an open backbend find it easy to accept others without judgment, and there is at least anecdotal evidence that progress in backbending is related to acquiring a more open and sympathetic character. Since it improves our feminine qualities, backbending seems to help us to see value in the opinions of others even if these are contrary to our own. As backbending softens what can be called the “armor” or “cage of the heart—that is, the rib cage—it makes us compassionate and helps us to open our hearts to those disadvantaged or in need.

However not everyone who has an open backbend is a genuine, loving human being, and not every stiff back bender is a selfish, hung-up miser. One’s backbending seems to improve if one imagines the qualities and attributes associated with backbends while performing them.”

Lead with the heart, follow with the head. Om.

image from http://www.tevenei.com/

Beauty-full light welcOMes all

There will be no correct clothes
There will be no proper payment
There will be no right answers
No glorified teachers
No ego no script no pedestals
No You're not good enough or rich enough


Yoga is for everyone
This sweating and breathing and becoming
This knowing glowing feeling
Is for the big small weak and strong
Able and crazy
Brothers sisters granmothers
The mighty and meek
Bones that creak
Those who seek


This power is for everyone
Yoga to the People
All bodies rise

-The Yoga Manifesto-
ubuntu (i am, because we are)

The African word, ubuntu, means 'Humanity to others’, or ‘I am what I am because of who we all are’. This mantra is on the Facebook wall of Becky, who very recently opened Stillpoint Manila, a hOMe for all because yoga is for everyone. Congratulations Becky! Om.

Becky and E. Plus Karen = Three beauty-full lights! Photo taken by Jing Tobias.

Yo-GAGA

We were doing Surys A and B while listening to Lady Gaga. E imported her teenage grand daughter's playlist and blasted it away at hOMe. You gotta love practise at hOMe! Expect the unexpected, really. She wanted us to know that we shouldn't take ourselves too seriously and let our inner free spirit loose at times. So she gave us each wildly-coloured bandanas to wear and encouraged us to shake our booties when we felt like it, even if you are in Uthita Hasta Padangusthasana--which was when I got the sillies out as I heard, "Like A Virgin", the Glee version. If you want to be over-analytical about the whole exercise, it can also be viewed as a challenge to stay focused on your breathing and remain in equanimity even with crazy music playing.

It was great FUN, I have to admit. And I enjoyed semi-sychronised yoga with Saar who was beside me and who I lost somewhere in the seated poses. Hope we do this again, Art wants to play music from Feist next time, while Chinky brilliantly suggested some Black-Eyed Peas. Yeaaahhh!

A hOMe practise

Notice how slowly and quietly they walk? That’s because these monks worship the ground beneath their feet. They tread carefully with respect and reverence for the earth, ever mindful not to disturb, disrupt or dishevel even the finest grain of sand.

And that is what engaging your bandhas 24/7 should be like. Embrace this and maybe bandha control will come more naturally. Also call to mind YS 1.33 whereby every living creature is treated with love and respect or with restraint and equanimity.

Thanks Guru E for clearing that up. Teacher had us walking the length of our mats with both uddhiyana and mula bandhas activated, toes curling up, and just the 4 corners of the soles of our feet touching the floor. There is a big difference, I tell you. Our gait was lighter, for one. Try it and feel the difference.

Practise is changing somewhat in that I’ve begun to let go of my asana hang-ups already and really look forward to these pre and post practice discussions with E and my classmates. This is the hOMe practice I’ve come to love. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to rush back home but the children await.

Our mantra that night during Mysore practice was simple: “Inhale, exhale”. Guru E said that this was the solution to the “issues” we were struggling with. Mine is to remember when to do full-standing vinyasas. I forget when to go back to Samasthiti after E drops me back. For Lai, it’s remembering the asanas at the latter part of the primary series and when to do chakrasana. For some, it’s how to tame mind fluctuations. According to E, following that mantra would help keep us focused on  properly getting out of the asanas (which we often neglect).

Photo is taken by Hugh Sitton available at Getty Images.

hOMey

I want this. Supposedly made from old yoga mats, the Sanuk Yoga Mat sandal is as comfortable and grippy as a...yoga mat. Truth in advertising or plain marketing? I have a pair of Sanuk slippers that Angelina Jolie supposedly wears too. Below is Halle Berry in the Sanuk yoga mat sandals.

Snuck in some “me” time one Thursday evening as my son had no classes the following day. Got to hand it to Guru E for always making practice so enjoyable, so memorable at hOMe. As we settled on to our mats to come to Samasthiti she announced that night that we would be practicing to music softly playing in the background. Also this time she would be enforcing the “no talking during practice” rule (on cue, our gaze point shifts to Art).

Guru E knows astutely and is so attuned to the practice of each and every individual at hOMe. For me, the music was so calming and helped de-stress me as well. E’s playlist also set the pace for synchronised yoga with me, Art and Lai. And with Art muzzled from making any snide, I mean, side comments, we seemed to be fully concentrated on the asanas. “Practice with integrity,” E encouraged.

On Tuesday, during the onset of a recent typhoon (yes, we practiced even with alert levels raised), we practiced with our eyes closed which yielded the best yoga practice for me to date. Of course, I moved very tentatively at first but fear quickly dissipated as movement and breathing became one just like the time we did the “one breath per vinyasa” practice.

Since I only get to practice an average once every week I try to maximise, optimise my time at hOMe. So I felt very connected to the breath and in the end so convinced about keeping my eyes shut throughout except perhaps when jumping through for Bhujapidasana or going to Bakasana. With eyes closed, it was also wonderful to simply feel those micro-adjustments from E.

What else is new? I met newcomers, Arthur another Ashtanguy who I used to see at Yoga Manila, and Sabrina, a model, so tall she seemed much longer than her yoga mat. I am now also more at peace. As it turns out, spending more time with my son everyday and working together on his homework has produced very positive results in such a short time. I once thought that he would not take to reading books the way I did when I was a little girl. Or the way his 4-year old sister has already begun to read (note: she is learning ballet terminology which is French). But the other night he read the book, “You Can’t Catch Me” all by himself. *Sigh* Bliss!

Om.

Lauren Peterson: still practising at 52

Another amazing fifty-something Ashtangi (just like my teacher E). Lauren Peterson turned 52 last month and made this video of some fourth series poses to celebrate her yoga practise which she began at the ripe "old" age of 30. Lauren practises Ashtanga Vinyasa and Iyengar yoga, just like E. So beautiful, so inspriring. Om.

Extinguished

As a young girl, meeting my dad as he came home from work and trips out of town.

In my twenties, travelling through Europe with a broken heart but with all my expenses paid.

Having the fruits of my creativity and hard work rewarded with job offers.

Seeing other people, after having ended a long-term relationship and then being in love again.

Purchasing my first car with my own blood, sweat and tears.

The birth of Pippa, the birth of my son and the birth of my youngest.

Watching my daughter twirl around like a little ballerina. Watching my son get dusty, dirty and drenched in sweat while playing football.

Discovering yoga, then practising and learning Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga with some of the most beauty-full people on this earth.

Exchanging a few words with John Scott and listening to his wonderful messages.

I am thankful for these, my happiest memories, which I will cling to and conjure up every time I feel trapped in my current situation. To be asked, even ordered, to stop practising yoga and instead devote more time to my children is not unreasonable. It is but only my responsibility as a mother to raise my kids. So all in good time, as Art says. It's not like the sad, dark and painful period of my life when my first born died or when I got into a highway accident. It is tantamount to taking away a child's favourite toy or telling a teenager to stop listening to rock or whatever music is mainstream or popular. But I am not a child nor teenager and I have to accept life's lessons.

What I do regret is having discovered yoga so late in life. It would have been different for sure had I gone on this journey earlier. But as I have said, my life has been blessed and I am ever grateful for that.

Yoga on and off the mat. Can there ever be one without the other?  Long, long, long exhale.